iPlease?

Dear Apple: Instead of an iPad, can I get a version of iTunes that isn’t a resource hogging bag of suck?

Braided Brain

Braid hurts my brain.

In a good way.

I was always interested in this game, but I had a conversation about it that included the word “postmodern” a few too many times,  so I didn’t rush to play it. Not having a system it was available on at the didn’t help.

But I got an e-mail from Playstation to tell me that it was one of the half-price games on PSN this month, so I jumped at a chance to see what all the fuss is about.

Bottom line: It’s a very good puzzle platformer that’s pretending to be something “deeper.” I haven’t finished the game yet, so I don’t know what that something is yet, but it seems to be a story of redemption and regrets. I don’t know. I read the bits of text before the levels and get how it’s connected to the pieces of the life I’m trying to put back together (many layers there), but if this was just Mario with a reverse button I wouldn’t think it any less of a game.

I think the thing I like the best about this game is that you can’t die! Not for long, anyhow. There are no “lives,” no real game over. Death mechanics are still a stumbling block for game designers, left over from the arcades. This game handles it better than just about any other game I’ve played. You don’t get sent back to the start, and you don’t pop back where you were without much penalty. You just hit rewind and try again. Brilliant! (Though I have gotten myself caught in some pretty serious loops).

My biggest worry about this game is trying to play it with my wife in the room. The sound of time speeding backwards can get grating on me when I’m playing; I imagine it would be the worse game in the world to just watch.

(PS: Please ignore the fact that I haven’t updated in seven months. Life got in the way.)

New Zelda Concept Art Intrigues

Take a good look at this:

infendo.com

This was shown at E3, and we got a bit of information about the upcoming Zelda game for the Wii:

• Made specifically for the Wii.
• Will probably use (and may even require) MotionPlus.
• Link is a bit older than he was in Twilight Princess, though it’s likely on yet another part of the timeline.
• Note that Link doesn’t have a sword. Early speculation is that his new friend has something to do with that. Maybe this is a Master Sword origin story.
• Also notice that he is right-handed. This makes sense after they flipped the world for TP, though it might upset some of the purists. I’m hoping that there is an option this time around for the true lefties of the world.

Nintendo says that they hope to show this off early next year, so we probably won’t see it before Holiday 2010, or even spring 2011.

Sweet Virtual Console Controller Hub

Take a good look at this beauty:

All your pads are belong to us.

This looks like a retro gamer’s dream. It’s a hub that connects each of your original Nintendo controllers to your Wii for playing VC games. It is love.

Set to come out in July for $20, it’s a tasty looking accessory for anyone who craves the most authentic experience, short of blowing out an old cartridge.

The problem I see, though, is that there appears to only be the one port for each system’s controller, so there’s not really much you can do for a multiplayer game other than to buy more than one of these dongles, or just make your buddy schlep with wiimote/classic/Gamecube controller. And of course there is always the matter of having working retro controllers.

Even still, it’s a very cool looking accessory.

The Red Steel 2 gambit

Red Steel 2 looks to overcome the crappiness of the first game by utilizing the Wii’s newest dongle, MotionPlus. But in a shockingly ballsy move, the game will be playable ONLY with MotionPlus.

As far as I know, this will make it the first game to make MotionPlus mandatory as opposed to an option (besides Wii Sports Resort, I guess, but I’m viewing that as a glorified tech demo for now), and it’ll prove to be an interesting test. Will the add-on sell enough to compel folks to get games made specially for it? Will Red Steel 2 sales suffer because of it? Will the improved control spark interest in a sequel to a wholly unremarkable game (that’s to say, not bad controlling, but just bad)? Who knows?

My advice? Make like Tiger Woods and pack in a MotionPlus if you want to stand a chance.

More plastic Beatles stuff to spend money on

We finally are getting a look at some of the instruments for Rock Band Beatles, but there’s a catch: These are extra guitars based on Lennon and Harrison’s instruments, that will cost you an additional $99 each, so to get the full set you would have to spend about $450! Wait, does this mean you can use three guitars in the game? I’m guessing not, it’s probably just there for the collectors.

Lennon's signature Rickenbacker 325 - image 1up.com

Harrison's Gretsch Duo Jet - image 1up.com

I will confess, these look pretty sweet, and if I was going to replace an old guitar, I might spring for one of these. And I’m sure there are people out there who will buy the whole set.

I just want to see Ringo’s tiny fake drums.

LttP Review: Parasite Eve

So here’s something new I’m working on: A Late to the Party Review. As my “gen” is not exactly “current,” I’ll probably be doing quite a few of these. This isn’t me looking back on some old game with rose-colored glasses; this is me reviewing an old game I recently played for the first time. I’ll try to put it into a modern context, but know that I don’t have any nostalgia for the game, so I might be a little harsh on your childhood. Flame Shields Activate!

Parasite Eve is an odd little game. It’s sort of like Square saw Resident Evil and said “Hey, we should totally do that, but with numbers.” So they got a license from a Japanese sci-fi / horror book and made a very loose sequel. Which, come to think of it, may be a first: a video game as a sequel to a novel.

The plot is ultimately a meaningless mess of genetic mutations and cellular rebellion. All you really need to know is that bad stuff is going down in the city and for some reason you — a spunky blond cop with a pistol and the world’s loudest shoes — are the only one who can stop it. Seriously, everyone else keeps catching fire or turning into orange ooze.

The action is pretty fun. Fights take place in real time using the good-ol’ “Active Battle” system. The twist is this game takes place in New York in the 90s, so instead of waiting to use your sword, you are waiting to shoot somebody in the face. Your primary weapons are all guns, though it wouldn’t be an RPG without some kind of magic system. Your Parasite abilities are mostly used for buffs and healing, though you do get a few offensive spells. The battles are random, but they are location triggered, so you get the feel for when they are coming and exploration doesn’t get interrupted as badly.

The visuals hold up well. Like most PS1 games, you move your character around on top of static prerendered backgrounds. The funny thing about going back and playing games from this era is that I find that I almost prefer the games in this style, while at the time I thought that the N64 and its fully 3D graphics were superior. Now I find that the 64’s flat polygons and overly stretched textures haven’t aged nearly as well as the detailed environs of Square’s post-Nintendo efforts.

Of course, the big flaw with the static backgrounds are the occasional pixel hunts. The makers of PE seem to have taken a bit of pleasure in this, hiding treasure chests containing the best loot in corners and behind foreground objects. You’re going to want hit every nook while tapping the check button

PE came out in an interesting time for Square. Final Fantasy VII had just made JRPGs cool in America (ironic since it’s the worst in the series), and this feels like a sort of side project. My used copy even came with a demo disc including a movie for Final Fantasy VIII. It’s interesting to see what kind of left-field projects Square could come up with before most of their output became a sequel or remake in its headliner series (and I guess Dragon Quest, too, but I still tend to think of Square and Enix as separate entities – a belief supported by the conflicting approaches to the Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy remakes on the DS).

I like the idea of survival horror, but I’m pretty crap at it. PE gives you just enough of a creepy vibe, but with the ability to grind if you get stuck. It’s perfect for someone like me who can’t hack it in a Resident Evil. I’d recommend it to anyone who likes actiony RPGs, creepy hallways, and/or B-grade late-night sci-fi.

I give Parasite Eve 4.5 mutated rat carcasses.

Just wants to be loved.

Job search > blog?

Howdy…

Not that I think I have legions of loyal readers (or any, for that matter), but I just wanted to pop in and say that this project is not dead. I’ve just been busy trying to get a job and haven’t been feeling very “gamey” for a couple of weeks.

I’ll be posting something snarky about Nintendo again soon, promise.

-McClain

Lego Rock Band: What’s the Point?

So … it’s Rock Band, but you’re characters look like Legos. The press release says it’s “fun for the whole family.” Because the original games were too hard-core for the little kids.

Yeah. I’m really not sure what the heck the point of this one is all about (besides, of course, selling discs). But I do have some predictions:

• The songs on this disc will either be rehashes of stuff that’s already available for DLC, or they will NOT be available for DLC down the line. Either way, the people who like the songs and are downloading them will be pissed.
• Much like everything else on the Wii, you won’t be able to use these songs with Rock Band 2, or the other way around, which will piss off the Wii folks because, well, we have a chip on our shoulder and think our cute little console should be able to do everything the big boys can even though the reason we bought it in the first place was that it’s cheaper and “different.”

So it’ll do something that Guitar Hero has been vilified for and Rock Band has been praised for avoiding up until recently: dillute and split the market.

Congratulations.

Next Wario Ware WAY too much work.

Hey, look, more user created content!

I don’t know … that seems like entirely too much effort for a, what, five-second minigame. I could see getting into building a level for Little Big Planet or something big like that, but holy mother of God that doesn’t look like fun.

Maybe if the game sells like 10 million units (which I suppose is possible, since there’s, what, like 100 million DSs out there?) there will be enough people making enough games to keep it interesting, but I don’t see there being enough good, or even “not horrible,” things being made.

At least if the user-created stuff sucks, it’ll be over quickly.